“What is wrong with you people?!”

Every second Friday of the month, a group of friends and I get together at someone’s house for a cooking fiasco. The meetup group, “Fabulous Foodies,” has been in operation for over four years now. Every month, a new theme is voted upon, and the only rule is that the theme cannot be food or month related. That means no Italian, no grilled, no fall, no 4^th of July. Previous themes have been as random as “suit and tie,” “culture clash,” “if I ran the zoo…” and our most recent installment, “what is wrong with you people?”

In this group, most of the cooking is done on-site, the frantic, home-trained chefs yelling “behind!” as though they were on an episode of Chopped. The wine flows as freely as the socializing, cooking, eating, and drinking, dishes laid out on the buffet table as they are ready. I made many friends through this group, and felt at home in the semi-chaotic, food obsessed atmosphere.

For this month, in both the spirit of the theme and the upcoming holiday, I decided to make a “bloody jack.” Carving out the innards of a pumpkin, I separated the seeds and toasted them (a snack for later). I filled the pumpkin with tomato juice, salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, cayenne pepper, roasted garlic, onion powder, pickles, olives, carrot sticks, celery, a dash of lime, and most importantly, a strong pour of cucumber infused vodka. I made holes just below the liquid line so the spirited concoction would drizzle down a bit. The “face” of the pumpkin I decorated looking upward in horror, as attendees “lobotomize” the pumpkin to fill their glasses.

The other dish we brought was an irreverent take on falafel. The Israeli street food is usually made with chick peas, onion, garlic, and flour, formed into balls, and deep fried, presented on a bed of tahini. Our version had the same basic construction, but we added bacon bits to the dough and fried the balls partially in bacon grease. Instead of tahini, we served the fried garbanzo balls with a homemade tzatziki, but ours had a kick of wasabi to light up your nostrils.

Other cooks brought equally absurd offerings. One dish was a coconut chicken pad thai. The dish contained everything that would usually disqualify it from pleasant company or those with allergies: garlic, raw onion, spicy, cilantro, peanuts, and coconut. It was one of the first dished finished. For dessert, one chef brought all the fixings for ice cream sundaes. However, he dropped a small cube of dry ice into each bowl, making each serving a misting delight. He then poured a shot of 151 proof rum on top, then lit the whole dessert on fire. What is wrong with you people indeed.

The evening, as always, was filled with laughing, friends, and full bellies. As the end of the night drew near, we all gathered around for voting on next month’s theme. The raucous crowed spat out ideas ranging from raunchy to ridiculous, but we decided on “Vote’em off the island” for next month. Cant wait.